


the real ducks are the friends we made along the way

by siltscribe



Category: Rover Red: Alone in Apocalypse (Podcast)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-31
Updated: 2017-10-31
Packaged: 2019-01-27 03:38:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12572896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/siltscribe/pseuds/siltscribe
Summary: -,_,.-'\`'°-,_,.-'\`'°  §_°<  COUAAACK...The duck walked up to the lemonade stand.  ·°'\`'°-.,¸¸.·°'\`





	the real ducks are the friends we made along the way

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This isn't my fic- just ghost-posting for Sera. Because ao3 log in information is frustrating. http://afraid-of-ducks.tumblr.com
> 
> “sera presents: a mistake”
> 
> (Tina's note: SERA. YOUR URL)

**LIGHTSCREEN LOG: TECH DEPARTMENT**

12:39: the lightscreens are arsonists: guys i swear i didn’t do it

12:39: (egg): Riiiiiiiiiight

12:39: the lightscreens are arsonists: why do you keep insisting its me anyway _@(egg)_

12:39: Cerberus’ music is annoying: Cerberus’ music is annoying

12:40: (egg): I know it’s you because magic, duckhunter

12:40: the lightscreens are arsonists: dude

12:40: pokemon is lit: the letting all tech dept ppl have clearance to it was a nice touch

12:40: (egg): Im going to spawn 50 ducks in the lightscreen subdivision lab

12:41: the lightscreens are arsonists: you do know thats my subdiv

12:41: (egg): Yes

12:41: the lightscreens are arsonists: DUDE

 

**E.V.I.E Archive for Rover Fortress, Timestamp 13:04-13:15**

Sera, what are you doing near the server room?  
>Walking.  
You seem to be going to the Voting Hall. I must inform you that there is no vote today.  
>You can look at a timetable. Congrats.  
>Look. you wanna be helpful? Who installed the duck hunt disaster?  
>And follow-up, why is it being blamed on me?  
I am unsure.  
>Hhhngggh.  
…

Sera, climbing the maintenance catwalk is not advisable.  
>Cool.  
Falling may result in injury.  
>[unintelligible, includes “no ducks” and “at least”]

_Lightscreen muted by user._

 

**LIGHTSCREEN LOG: FFFNZZZFFFFF#9372-ESPRESSONIST#1781**

13:18: tinaaaaaaa

13:18: _This message was not sent because the recipient is at a Management level or higher and has the spam filter enabled to reduce distraction. Send anyway? ( **yes** /no)_

13:19: have fun w duckhunt ig

...

13:25: Sera, what the hell?

seraphima@rfortress ~  
$ cd fortress/global/files

seraphima@rfortress ~/fortress/global/files  
$ find . -name duckhunt -type d  
./programs/duckhunt

seraphima@rfortress ~/fortress/global/files  
$ su techdept  
Password:

techdept@rfortress ~/fortress/global/files  
$ chgrp uppermanagement ./programs/duckhunt/ -R  
Message from duckhunt: notifications automatically reassigned.

**LIGHTSCREEN LOG: ESPRESSONIST#1781-DUCKHUNT (BOT)**

13:25: 1 duck spawned, floor 3  
13:25: 1 duck killed, floor 3  
13:25: 1 duck despawned, floor 4  
13:25: 1 duck despawned, floor 5  
13:25: 1 duck spawned, floor 5 (SUPER)  
13:26: 1 duck killed, floor 2

13:26: _Silt_. 

**LIGHTSCREEN LOG: UPPER MANAGEMENT**

13:28: Sid: Is anyone else getting spammed by the duck hunt thing 

13:28: Braddick: I DEMAND THAT YOU FIND WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS!

13:29: Sid: ...I take it that you have

**LIGHTSCREEN LOG: ESPRESSONIST#1781-TWI’LEK BITCH#3293**

13:31: So Sera sent me this a couple minutes ago:  
13:31: 13:24: have fun w duckhunt ig

13:31: Is this a “we’re not telling Braddick or else he’ll start another tree incident” thing

13:32: That’s the idea. 

13:32: You should probably try to talk to her about this and try to get it sorted out before he steps in

13:32: Yeah, probably. I’ll do that in a moment when I finish this. 

13:32: Gl with tha  
13:32: JASON HAS MORE DUCKS THAN ME I GOTTA GO KICK THAT SILTEATERS ASS AT DUCK HUNTING

13:33: Oh _god._

**Partial DuckHunt Logs (Area: Cafe)**

(13:39) Jason has killed 1 duck! (new total 54 ducks killed, 8 super ducks: 70 xp)  
(13:39) Sid has killed 1 duck! (new total 62 ducks killed, 4 super ducks: 70 xp)  
(13:39) Jason has killed 1 duck! (new total 55 ducks killed, 8 super ducks: 71 xp)  
(13:39) Sid has killed 1 duck! (new total 63 ducks killed, 4 super ducks: 71 xp)  
(13:40) Jason has killed 1 duck! (new total 56 ducks killed, 8 super ducks: 72 xp)  
(13:40) Sid has summoned 25 ducks in area: Cafe!  
(13:40) Sid has killed 1 duck! (new total 64 ducks killed, 4 super ducks: 72 xp)

 

 **Rover Fortress Damage Report (Submitted by Upper Manager: Tina)**  
Cafe: three (3) holes in wall, ranging from square foot to about size of doorway  
Perpetrators: Jason and Sid

Hallway outside of cafe: Four areas of scorched wall, approx. yard-length, one area of burnt-away rug  
Perpetrators: Jason and Sid

Elevator 1: Several scratch marks in metal of doors, most floors inaccessible by elevator due to jammed or broken buttons, scared Cerberus  
Perpetrators: Jason and Sid

_Note(s) by logger: ...They’re heading upstairs._

 

**E.V.I.E Archive for Rover Fortress, Timestamp 13:45-13:51**

_Lightscreen unmuted by user._

>E.V.I.E, what’s the crashing noise outside?  
I am unsure. A scan of the floor is in progress to determine the issue.  
>Could you update me on the results of that as you get them?  
Updates scheduled.  
>Thanks.  
The fact that you have spent an extended amount of time on the catwalk does not make it more safe.  
>Oh my god.

…

Assessment complete. Scan results indicate two or more members of the Rover Council performing either a dance routine or a sparring match. Audio analysis of the participants’ voices is in progress. Projected location is the server room, with 89.21719% accuracy.  
>Please don’t tell me you just said server room.  
I indeed did say server room.  
>Speaker.  
No, _server room, not speaker room_.  
>It’s not- never mind. Is anything damaged in there?  
Server room integrity is low priority, so the answer that balances accuracy with reassurance is “probably, or something.”  
>Hip with the kids, n- wait, low priority? We need our internet, E.V.I.E!  
My communication and connection is provided for without the server room.  
>Ughhhh. I’m heading in.  
That-  
_Lightscreen muted by user._

**Camera Feed Description: Server Room (Partial Log: 13:53 to 13:56)  
**   
_This report has been compiled as part of an ongoing or completed investigation. Any paperwork is on display at the Rover Fortress.  
Participants: Sera, Jason, Duck Hunt robotic voice readout, Sid, Tina_

SERA: What the hell is going on in- _Speaker._  
JASON: DIE, PUNY DUCK!  
DUCK HUNT: Jason has killed a duck.  
SID: BLAM!  
DUCK HUNT GUN ABSTRACTION: BLAM!  
DUCK HUNT: Sid has killed a duck.  
TINA: ...Hi.  
JASON AND SID: [unintelligible screaming interspersed with bullet fire]  
AUTOMATIC READOUT: Attention! Server rack 4 has sustained significant damage! Attention! Server rack 4 has sustained significant damage! Attention! Server ra-  
SERA: [to readout] Shut up!  
TINA: [to Jason and Sid] Shut up!  
TINA: This is ridiculous and absolutely immature! A competition is not worth damage in our server room!  
DUCK HUNT: Jason has killed a duck. Sid has killed a duck. Alert! Super duck spawned!  
JASON AND SID: DUCK!  
DUCK HUNT: Wild shot. -1 point! Sera has been hit and knocked out by wild shot! -5 points!

**LIGHTSCREEN LOG: DMs TO FFFNZZZFFFFF#9372 (CHECKED 2:54)**

**infinite frogs#9081:** did u actually get knocked out

 **y#4358:** What happened in the server room? Did it actually explode

 **Rover Council Default Username#8942:** Are you the creator of Duck Hunt?

 **Jacobi sat in his quarters alone.#7655:** Are jason and sid actually slade testing us by breaking a server rack

**LIGHTSCREEN LOG:TECH DEPARTMENT**

7:31: the lightscreens are arsonists: ...and thats how the rack actually broke  
7:32: (egg): Soooo is the “sid and jason are the original speaker” theory true


End file.
